Beware of "Why?"

My thoughts are a bit jumbled as of late, so forgive me if this entry doesn't come out as smoothly as I had hoped :)

"Why?" can cripple the soul more quickly than a bullet cripples the body. It's a rather simple question, yet it rarely returns a simple answer.

Perhaps the only good "why?" questions come from children. Coming from a five-year-old it's usually a question of curiosity and discovery and understanding…

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Why do cats have tails and I don't?"

"Why does the sun have to go to bed?"

"Why do people go to war?"

Oftentimes "why?" tends to evoke shame and disappointment…

"why did you do that?"

The asker, whether or not they realize it, probably expects one of the following answers…

"because I'm stupid."

"I wasn't thinking."

"Why?" comes in many forms, but I think the most dangerous ones are those that linger in our minds…

"Why did this happen to me?"

"Why did he/she leave me?"

"Why am I not like so-and-so?"

These questions are debilitating. They can cause us to focus on and mull over what is "wrong" in life. Usually that "wrong" is us…or so we think. I'm all for grieving where grief is needed, but eventually we need to rejoin the rest of the world. There's no magic time period. Each person is different and should never expect their journey to look like someone else's.

"Why?" can be replace with "what?".

"What does this mean for me?"

"What can I do about it?"

"What can I learn from this?"

Where "why?" leaves us turned inward and depressed, "what?" opens us up to a world of possibilities without ignoring the situation. "What?" is fuel for the engine where "why?" is a flat tire taking us nowhere and leaving us deflated. "Why?" comes much easier than "what?" because it takes less effort to ask. "What?" requires action, both inside and out.

I may not ever know the answers to some of my "why's", but I'm not so convinced that I need to know anymore.  I'm finding the "what's" to be satisfying and encouraging. They push me to acknowledge the hardships, learn from them, and press on to bigger dreams.

Beware of "why?" because it is a friend of daydreams, beckoning us to stay where we are and merely dream of how things could be.